Mario Kart DS

I have a bone to pick with this game.

Not for its awesome racing nor battle games that it offers,

but purely the logic of it.
You may be puzzled as to why I would question such an epic game;

"Why are you doing this to such a beloved past time?"

"Have you no respect for the sheer delight it consistantly provides you with?"

"What am I doing in your room?"

Silence!

It shall all make sense in a couple of minutes.

You see, my friends,

when I play this game, I demand maximum enjoyment.

I want to become 1st;

I want to see that trophy float in mid air saying that my racing skills are Star material -

not A, not B, not C, but a shiny, yellow mutha ucking star.

And yet, while I race, I want all the cool cheating tools:

The Flying Bullet
_____________The Gold Mushroom

_____________________________The Red Turtle

_________________________________________The Crazy Star

And yet, I can only get these items if I am in 7th or 8th place.

Because ultimately, this game is about giving the crappy drivers a chance to catch up;

to make something of their meaningless lives.

But what about those that are in 1st place?

Do you think we enjoy constantly getting Banana Peels and Pretend Chance Boxes?

Do you think it's 'good fun' when the unavoidable Blue Turtle hits us into oblivion?

What I'm trying to say, Mr.Nintendo,

is to think about the little guys, that always come first.

Give us a chance to win and have fun at the same time.

That's all I ask.

Yours Sincerely,

_____________Karen Ly